thootsaseum

Jul 7

.

so many memories in my box

yet so few in yours

when will my box burn

or when will i see yours

show me

there there

show me

Jun 27

.

보여? 나 노력하는거 보여?

문자도 안사고 페북도 안하고 나 진심으로 잠시동안만이라도 너랑 멀어지고 싶어서 이런건데

티나? 어떠니? 기분이 좀 어때?

정말 내 생에 처음으로 느껴보는 감정들을

널 만나고 얼마나 많이 느꼈는지 너는 모를거야

진심으로 누군가를 사랑하는 기분이 어떤건지 알게됐고

진심으로 누군가를 미워하는 기분이 어떤건지 알게됐고

그리고 지금 내가 느끼는 이 묘한 슬픔이란 감정도 알게됐고

정말 너랑은 평생 같이 있고 싶은데

정말 평생 너 노래듣고

너가 날 위해 노래 불러주고

너가 날 위해 노래 작곡도해주고

매일 너 얼굴 보면서

너 위로해주고

너 안아주면서 살고싶은데

그만큼 너 지금 그만큼 좋아하는데

나도 인간인지라

상처는 받기가 싫다

만약 우리가 더 나아가게 된다면

언젠간 서로 상처주고 갈라지고

내가 꿈꾸는 우리 평생우정은 깨지게 되겠지

그게 너무 아플것 같아서

너가 너무 좋고

너랑 정말 평생 함께

이런 어정쩡한 관계더라도

너랑 평생 함께 지내고 싶어서

조금이나마 내 감정을 정리해야될것 같다

공부핑계대고

잠시만 우리 멀리 지내자

몸이 멀어지면 맘도 멀어진다잖니

다음주 우리 그냥 밥먹고 연극보고

그렇게 잠시 헤어지자

조금이라도 너의 감정을 알수있다면

지금 내 맘 정리하는것도 훨씬 수월할텐데

그렇게 사람 헷갈리게 해놓으면

내가 미쳐

정말 죽을것 같아

내가 요즘 왜 난리 치는지

너는 모르겠지

다 내가 생각이 굉장히 깊은 아이여서 그런거라 믿고있겠지

너때문이야

너때문에 내가 이 난리를 치고 있는거야

언젠간 얘기해줄게

이런얘기

너 얼굴 마주보고

정말 마음 아무렇지도 않게

웃으면서

좋은 추억얘기하듯

얘기할수 있을때

그때

다 얘기해줄게

사랑해

Feb 11

oh my

i realised i’m a damn lonely person.

i want people to like me so bad :(

but i tell people i like being alone

because I think i like being alone

but i guess i don’t

gah i don’t even know xl

(via frenchcage)

Dec 26

-

finally got hold of inception from this girl

and my mum was like YAY let’s watch it now!!

i : mum….? there’re no subtitles.

mum : : ((

Dec 24

I have this thing..

the stuff that i set my mind on.. could be my ‘sheets’ or like.. my dream for the future.. whatever,

i have to be the best. i have to be the ‘miss number one whoo you are awesome girl!’ girl. or.. i have to be the ‘miss number one whoo you are its biggest fan!’girl. (haha fangirl. ha punny.)once again, i sound super vain. but i can’t help it. that’s probably why i emphasize my love towards something.. or like.. my dream. to tell others to keep off, it’s my area.

like… last year we had to talk about our dreams. mine is of course to be an architect. then this girl before me says i wanna be an architect :). oh how much i cursed her inside. oh don’t you dare, i wanted to be one since 7 no you di’nt. that’s mine. your dreams much smaller than mine, so don’t talk about it as if you know everything about it. OHMYGOSH i sound so selfish. this is why i use tumblr. lizzy mann’s the only one i know that uses it. and shes like the only one that i wouldn’t mind reading my crap.

so…. like.. i don’t show it on the outside. no one knows im like… seeking revenge(no… it’s not as WHOA as revenge.. it’s more like.. hm.. i don’t think i like you anymore. .. what am i on about…: /) for this girl that just took my place. outside i’d be smiling saying congrats! you awesome person you. are. awesome. duplicity. yes. i am two sided YAY. but i don’t reckon i do that.. so that i can fake myself.. i dont’ know. im just too scared to show it on the outside. cause im scared people will think i am STRANGE. and vain. and selfish. just too scared to show myself y’know? that’s why i wanna be like my sister.

off track. yes.

anyway.

that’s all i could think to say.

hm.. i think i got too excited. i’m not that bad….. or am i…? >: ]]]]]]

~~wow.. the #1 on the picture looks typed. yay i can write like a computer!!~~

Dec 23

me,

people think i have no life, and it might appear that i have no life

but it’s not because i actually don’t have a life, but because i always have that single thing that is invading my whole life

once i get into something, i fall in love hopelessly - that it becomes an obession. such an obsession that i hate, and wont let anyone shit about it.

i dont care wahwah cant hear you wahwah whatever you say, you are WRONG >:p

so ignorant.

but those words slowly get me. it pokes a tiny dot on my clean sheet, one dot for one word. i don’t notice it, but a moment comes when it hits me. damn, i see the speck now.

that’s when i tuck away this sheet, and i sleep cold. it’s hard for me to find a new sheet. damn im cold, i need a new pucking sheet. everyone else has a sheet. but i don’t spread the dirty sheet again, once a dirty sheet, always a dirty sheet. i look around. ooh that looks cool. i buy the sheet. ooh i think i like this one. i sleep warm. but nah ah. it’s not right. ugh it’s definitely not right. too stiff, too soft, too thick, too thin, too dull, too bright. whatever. i tuck this away too.

then i find the right one. yes. this is it. i spend all day and night in bed. people point at me. cukoo. shes obsessed with that sheet.

i block my ears.

perfect. - until the moment hits me.

Dec 21

.

i realised

that i’ve been wrapping myself up with completely opaque wrappings, trying to somehow convince everyone, convince myself, that i am the person that i appear to be.

not making any sense,

but i truly don’t know how i feel about everything anymore. i guess i never knew, really.

i realised i just want to put myself in a pretty painting that says i’m this cool person with somewhat a personality. i realised i’m painfully desperate for attention, for people to like me. i want everyone to like me. how vain.

you’re vain elizabeth cho. and that’s why i don’t like you.

now it’s all your fault if you end up hating the stuff you end up having to do. it’s your fault.

elizabeth cho, please do promise me, that if you do end up coming back to this, you won’t delete this. or edit this. no matter how much you hate what you’ve written, please leave it here and talk to me. be my friend, would you?

i’ll probably wake up tomorrow morning wrapped up in my fake wrappings anyway.

there, that’s your christmas present.

Dec 14

.

아 진짜 너 너무 싫다..

뭐야.. 이게 좋아’? 고민하는게 좋아?

왜?? 좋아보여?

아 진짜 너 완전 가식같다.

나 너 진짜 싫어 조희진.

봐바… 이런것조차도 가짜같잖아.

도대체 너 진짜 모습이 뭔데?

정말 싫다 너.

너가 지금까지 이렇게 살아와서, 이렇게 고민해야되는거야.

알겠냐?

이 가식덩어리 가짜인간아.

.

i don’t know i just don’t know.

there is not a single person that can give me an answer.

what do i do?

nothing. ‘course nothing. it’s not like you ever have a straight answer anyway.

stop lying to yourself.

oh gosh how i much i hate you.

thootsaseum

radiohead, mychemicalromance, music, art, painting, dance, surrealism, virtuality, metaphors 무한도전 twitter @thootsaseum

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oh my

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radiohead, mychemicalromance, music, art, painting, dance, surrealism, virtuality, metaphors 무한도전

twitter @thootsaseum